My first love is an insanely bittersweet dream. His efforts to stay away from me are just as useless as mine to get closer to him. The things he doesn’t deliberately reveal for me to understand are the ones I worship. I have failed to understand the crestfallen hopes of mine that revolve around his existence. I have failed to understand why my soul is committed to settle with his. My dreams are like ripples of water that don’t reach him and die eventually. But I create another and another. I always reach out in the hope that he’ll take my hand but he never does and I never stop trying. We care. We are stubborn. But we never take a step further nor do we flinch. Talking about him doesn’t make butterflies dance in my stomach or make my heart beat faster than it ever has. The thought of him makes me calm. He is the calm centre of my terribly chaotic existence. In times of distress, my mind runs to him like he is the answer to every problem that I’ll ever face. We almost touch, almost but never really do. His hands behind the glass wall hold me still. This indestructible glass wall is the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me. He empowers me and accepts me for all the inconceivable reasons. It feels nice and safe to have him around. It feels nice to have someone who keeps my feet on the ground yet pushes me to pursue all that I have ever wanted to do. How can I not fall in love with someone who has a greater insight into my mind? How can I not want to settle for someone who has more understanding of the turmoil that I am than I do?
This love is ‘almost everything’ for me. I would always be ‘almost someone’ to him. We would always be ‘almost a beautiful world’ but never enough behind these walls. This is probably the first and last time I’m writing about him. These words are ‘almost everything’ that want to say to him but still not enough. .
L O V E // I forget everytime, that you and I were born with different languages. You didn't grow up in the home that I did, you didn't grow up with the fantasies that I did. I forgot that you had a different dictionary to mine. I was never told that love could be a social construct too. I felt the euphoria stronger than you did; like a child in a lolly shop. But for you it was mediocre. You needed more. You talked more, let the words fall off your tongue about all the adventures you wanted to have, all the things you wanted to do. Let the wind carry away your desires, to make them tangible. And I wanted touch. Not words. I wanted to fit into your body like we were a jigsaw puzzle. I didnt want to let my coffee get cold listening. I wanted to set fire to the room while we were together. I didn't know, that love to you was as simple as listening. You didn't know that holding my hand, instead of your coffee was soft enough for me. I didn't know that the fire in your eyes was enough for me. You and I were in love. I loved you. You loved me. But I guess, we had different ideas of love. And I'll always hope, that you find someone with the same dictionary as you.
From the entangled
threads of pain,
She weaved her heart
with love, poetry was created.
On the sleepless nights
with overflowing tears,
She built a strong bridge
of words, poetry was created.
From the fake smiles,
She made others smile
and poetry was created.
Out of the regrets of
She dusted some memories
off and poetry was created.
From that asunder heart,
She loved someone who
loved the same heart
and poetry was created.
From the sad corners
of her room,
She found blithe
within herself and poetry
By leaving dark shadows
She learnt to radiate
smile and poetry was created.
She built her emipre
of pen and paper,
poetry was created.
Stories and secrets are something all of us get in our heads for we all sail through our own lives, taking good and bad journeys. But life is never a smooth sail and it never promises to be one. Somewhere each of us knows how it feels to have everyone around making promises usually bigger than what they really keep. That really feels foul but doesn't decay in our heads easily and so affects our spirit and to some of us, it does that badly.
We all are humans . We've got gentle hearts, inside our bodies with thousands of unsaid emotions and a number of unknown fears, lurking inside a hard core being. Don't worry, that is completely a human, for there is more to worry about and that is these two little words - Investment and Return.
When we invest our time and energy on people for good, we expect the same, although we are very much aware of the fact that change is the law of nature and change is likely a human. So, tell me is there any wisdom in accusing people for being human? No, I believe.
But this is where we go wrong. We tie ourselves to regret for having been with wrong people, when we are no doers, but only mediums; a part of bigger plan of this universe.
If you do good, universe will never leave you unrewarded but remember, rewards may not necessarily come from the people you love. People will be switched but not the amount of love and care you emit. The world needs love. You need love and so do I. So, emit love as much as you can, for this is the only way to make things easier and better.
Dharamshala | Himachal Pradesh
Photo and Words By: @kriti.ka__ (Kritika Rana) #Follow
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Christmas (is coming to town)
Snow is falling down
Christmas is finally coming to town
Lights shine so bright every night
We sing along to our favourite Christmas song
Christmas is all about sharing and caring
Giving without expecting
It's about bringing people together
More than ever
Giving them something to believe
Christmas is finally here
A time that is most dear
To each one of us
We are jumping up and down
'Cos Christmas is finally coming to town
It's like putting on a show full of clowns
I have no shelf control.
In case you're wondering what a writer's life if like, I spent 3 hours today going over the same 25 word sentence. Back to some new writing now, thankfully. Today's shot features one of my favorite art pieces— a quartz crystallized cicada by @tylerthrasherart. His brutally beautiful work gives me as much inspiration as that of any author's. What are the non-literary artists and works that you take inspiration from? (Swipe for a close up of the cicada, it's a stunner)